As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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