i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
