It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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