i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
