Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
soo... how was my night?
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