At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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