How'd it feel making her break her religion?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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