Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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