Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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