They should really pass out barf bags in church
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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