There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
