See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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