yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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