I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
