This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
