I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize