What did we do last night that was yellow?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
