Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Pappa wants mamma naked
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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