I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
