I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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