I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
