tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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