i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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