why didn't you poke me back
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
