to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
where am i from again
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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