I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
