I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We left the knife in your bed.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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