I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
