hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We are two peas in an std pod
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
