Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize