People with herpes should wear stickers.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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