Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
