Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
