By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We left an ass print on the piano.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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