and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
