i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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