24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
