so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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