so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
