Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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