if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
