So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
