barbara walters just said penis...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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