i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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