Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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