if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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