Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
