the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
