She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize