i think i have herpe
just one?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
