Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
