Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
