I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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