I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
