She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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