allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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