Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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