Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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