You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
