apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
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