she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
