I will die if light touches me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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