So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
