I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
