was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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