My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i love accidental penises.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Terrible idea I love it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
