you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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