Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
