it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
