Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
