evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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