woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
