if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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